Nikah aur Miyan Biwi ka Rishta

Nikah ka maqsad, pati aur patni ke haq aur zimmedariyan, aur mushkil waqt mein Qur'an aur Sunnat ki rehnumai.

Nikah ka Maqsad: Sukoon, Muhabbat aur Rahmat

Nikah ke din do log ek doosre ka haath thaamte hain aur ek nayi zindagi shuru hoti hai. Qur'an is rishte ko ek bahut khoobsurat naam deta hai. Woh ise Allah ki nishani kehta hai: "Aur uski nishaniyon mein se yeh hai ke usne tumhare liye tum hi mein se jeevan saathi banaye, taake tum unke paas sukoon pao, aur usne tumhare beech muhabbat aur rahmat rakh di. Beshak is mein un logon ke liye nishaniyan hain jo sochte samajhte hain."1

Is ek ayat mein nikah ka poora maqsad aa gaya hai. Pehli baat hai sukoon, yani ghar aisi jagah ho jahan din bhar ki thakan utar jaye. Doosri baat hai muhabbat, jo dil mein bhi ho aur baat cheet aur bartaav mein bhi dikhe. Aur teesri baat hai rahmat, yani woh narmi aur hamdardi jo bimari, budhape aur mushkil waqt mein bhi saath nibhaye. Ayat yeh bhi batati hai ke yeh muhabbat aur rahmat Allah ne khud rakhi hai. Isliye iske badhne ki dua bhi usi se ki ja sakti hai.

Yeh rishta itna gehra kyun hai, iska ishara ek aur ayat mein milta hai: "Ae logo, apne Rabb se daro jisne tumhein ek jaan se paida kiya aur usi se uska joda banaya."2 Pati aur patni ki asal ek hi hai, aur Rabb bhi ek hi hai. Isi liye woh ek doosre ke saathi hain, aur ek doosre ke dukh sukh ko apna samajhte hain.

Ek Doosre ka Libas

Is nazdeeki ko samjhane ke liye Qur'an ne ek bahut pyari misaal di hai: "Woh tumhare liye libas hain aur tum unke liye libas ho."3 Yahan ek hi lafz dono ke liye aaya hai. Libas insan ke sabse kareeb hota hai. Woh uski kamiyon ko dhakta hai, use garmi aur sardi se bachata hai aur uski khoobsurti badhata hai. Pati aur patni bhi ek doosre ke liye yahi hote hain. Woh ek doosre ki kamiyon par parda rakhte hain, ek doosre ko sambhalte hain aur ek doosre ki khoobsurti ban jate hain.

Aur yeh nazdeeki sirf jazbaat par nahi tiki hoti. Jazbaat kabhi tez hote hain aur kabhi halke, lekin nikah ek vaada hai jo apni jagah rehta hai. Qur'an patni ke baare mein mard se kehta hai: "Aur unhon ne tumse bahut pakka vaada liya hai."4 Yahi lafz Qur'an ne us vaade ke liye bhi istemal kiye hain jo Allah ne apne Nabiyon se liya tha.5 Isse andaza hota hai ke Allah ke nazdeek is rishte ki kitni qadr hai.

Nikah bhi Deen ka Hissa Hai

Isi liye ghar basana deen se door hona nahi hai. Teen logon ne Nabi ﷺ ki ibadat ka haal suna to unhein apni ibadat kam lagi. Ek ne har raat namaz padhne ka iraada kiya, doosre ne hamesha roza rakhne ka, aur teesre ne kaha ke woh nikah nahi karega. Nabi ﷺ ne unhein bataya: "Lekin main roza rakhta bhi hoon aur chhodta bhi hoon, namaz padhta bhi hoon aur sota bhi hoon, aur auraton se nikah bhi karta hoon."6 Yani apne ghar walon ke saath achhi zindagi bitana bhi Nabi ﷺ ke tareeqe par chalna hai.

To jab aap apne jeevan saathi ke liye kuch achha karne ka sochen, to yaad rakhiye ke yeh bhi Allah ko khush karne ka ek raasta hai. Aur usi se yeh dua maangte rahiye jo Qur'an ne sikhai hai: "Ae hamare Rabb, hamein hamare jeevan saathiyon aur hamari aulad se aankhon ki thandak de, aur hamein Allah se darne walon ke liye aage chalne wala bana."7 Aameen.

References: 1 Qur'an 30:21, 2 Qur'an 4:1, 3 Qur'an 2:187, 4 Qur'an 4:21, 5 Qur'an 33:7, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 5063, 7 Qur'an 25:74.

Miyan Biwi ke Haq: Dono Taraf ki Zimmedari

Har jode ke dil mein yeh khwahish hoti hai ke unka rishta din ba din aur khoobsurat hota jaye. Achhi baat yeh hai ke Allah Ta'ala ne khud is rishte ka zikr Qur'an mein kiya hai, aur bataya hai ke pati aur patni dono ka ek doosre par haq hai: "Aur auraton ke bhi bhale tareeqe se waise hi haq hain jaise un par zimmedariyan hain."1

Haq ka lafz sun kar kabhi lagta hai ke yeh koi sakht si baat hogi. Lekin ghar mein iska matlab bas itna hai ke hum ek doosre ki zaroorat aur khushi ko apni zimmedari samajh len. Pati patni ka khayal rakhe, patni pati ka, aur dono yeh kaam Allah ko khush karne ke liye karen.

Ek Amanat

Is rishte ki qadr ka andaza is se hota hai ke Nabi ﷺ ne apne aakhri Hajj ke khutbe mein bhi iska zikr kiya. Aap ne farmaya: "Auraton ke baare mein Allah se daro, kyunke tumne unhein Allah ki amaan mein liya hai."2 Yani nikah ke baad patni pati ke paas Allah ki amanat hoti hai. Jab yeh baat pati ke dil mein baith jati hai, to uski baaton aur uske bartaav mein khud hi narmi aa jati hai.

Isi khutbe ki ek riwayat mein aap ﷺ ne dono ka zikr ek saath kiya: "Suno! Tumhare apni patniyon par haq hain, aur tumhari patniyon ke tum par haq hain."3 Phir aap ne dono ke haq ki misaal bhi di. Patni ghar mein kisi aise shakhs ko na aane de jo pati ko pasand na ho, aur pati patni ke khane aur kapde ka achhe se khayal rakhe.3 Yeh ghar ki roz ki baatein hain, aur inhi se ek doosre par bharosa banta hai.

Khane ki baat aayi hai to ek pyari hadith bhi sun lijiye. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Tum Allah ki raza ke liye jo kuch kharch karo, us par tumhein sawab milega, yahan tak ke us niwale par bhi jo tum apni patni ke munh mein dalte ho."4 Ek niwala kitni chhoti si cheez hai, phir bhi Allah ke yahan uska sawab hai. To jo pati apni patni ki zaroorat poori karta hai, woh sirf ek zimmedari ada nahi kar raha, balke sawab bhi kama raha hai.

Isi tarah patni bhi ghar mein ek badi zimmedari sambhalti hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Mard apne ghar walon ka nigehban hai aur us se unke baare mein sawal hoga, aur aurat apne pati ke ghar aur uske bachon ki nigehban hai aur us se unke baare mein sawal hoga."5 Is hadith mein dono ke liye ek hi lafz aaya hai. Ghar dono ki mehnat se banta hai, aur dono ki mehnat Allah ke saamne hai.

Is zimmedari ka sabse khoobsurat hissa aapas ka bartaav hai. Qur'an kehta hai: "Aur unke saath bhale tareeqe se raho."6 Is mein achhi baat karna, narmi se pesh aana, aur apna rang roop bhi aisa rakhna shamil hai jo patni ko achha lage, jaise mard apne liye yahi chahta hai.7 Ek doosre ke liye achha dikhna bhi muhabbat ka ek pyara izhaar hai.

Saath Saath Allah ki Taraf

Jab ghar mein aisi narmi aa jati hai, to pati patni deen mein bhi ek doosre ka haath thamne lagte hain. Nabi ﷺ ne aise jode ke liye dua farmayi: "Allah us mard par rahm kare jo raat ko uth kar namaz padhe aur apni patni ko jagaye, aur agar woh na uthe to uske chehre par paani chhidke. Allah us aurat par rahm kare jo raat ko uth kar namaz padhe aur apne pati ko jagaye, aur agar woh na uthe to uske chehre par paani chhidke."8 Dekhiye, dua dono ke liye ek jaisi hai. Jo pehle jaag jaye, woh doosre ko bhi saath le le.

Aur ibadat ka shauq ghar se door nahi le jata. Ek sahabi din bhar roze rakhte aur raat bhar namaz padhte the. Nabi ﷺ ne unhein samjhaya: "Tumhare jism ka tum par haq hai, tumhari aankhon ka tum par haq hai, aur tumhari patni ka tum par haq hai."9 Yani patni ke saath waqt bitana bhi deen ka hi hissa hai.

Jab pati aur patni ek doosre ka khayal Allah ke liye rakhne lagte hain, to chhote chhote kaam bhi ibadat ban jate hain. Allah Ta'ala har pati aur patni ko ek doosre ke liye sukoon aur khushi ka zariya banaye. Aameen.

References: 1 Qur'an 2:228, 2 Sahih Muslim 1218a, 3 Jami at-Tirmidhi 1163, 4 Sahih al-Bukhari 56, 5 Sahih al-Bukhari 2554, 6 Qur'an 4:19, 7 Tafsir Ibn Kathir 4:19, 8 Sunan Abi Dawud 1308, 9 Sahih al-Bukhari 5199.

Achhe Pati ki Khoobiyan

Har achha pati chahta hai ke uski patni uske saath khush rahe. Is raaste par Nabi ﷺ se behtar rehnuma koi nahi, kyunke aap ne khud apne ghar mein yeh kar ke dikhaya. Aap ne farmaya: "Tum mein sabse achha woh hai jo apne ghar walon ke liye sabse achha ho, aur main tum sab mein apne ghar walon ke liye sabse achha hoon."1 Yani ek mard ki achhai ki pehchan uske ghar se hoti hai. Aaiye dekhte hain ke Nabi ﷺ apne ghar mein kaise the.

Ghar mein Saath Dena

Kisi ne Hazrat Aisha se poocha ke Nabi ﷺ ghar mein kya karte the. Unhon ne bataya: "Aap ghar walon ke kaam mein lage rehte the, aur jab namaz ka waqt aata to namaz ke liye chale jaate the."2 Allah ke Rasool, ummat ke rehnuma, aur phir bhi ghar ke kaam mein haath batate the. Jab koi pati thakan ke baad bhi patni ka kaam halka kar deta hai, to woh Nabi ﷺ ki ek sunnat par amal kar raha hota hai, aur patni ke dil mein uski jagah aur badh jati hai.

Ghar ka saath sirf kaam tak nahi tha. Aap apni patni ke saath hanste khelte bhi the. Hazrat Aisha ek safar ka waqia batati hain: "Maine aap ﷺ se daud lagayi aur main aage nikal gayi. Phir jab mera wazan badh gaya aur maine daud lagayi to aap aage nikal gaye, aur farmaya: Yeh us jeet ka badla hai."3 Socha jaye to yeh kitni chhoti si baat hai, lekin Hazrat Aisha ne ise yaad rakha aur logon ko bataya. Patni ke saath bitaya hua aisa halka phulka waqt bhi rishte ko mazboot karta hai.

Dil ka Haal Samajhna

Isi saath se ek doosre ko samajhna bhi aata hai. Nabi ﷺ ne ek baar Hazrat Aisha se farmaya: "Mujhe pata chal jata hai ke kab tum mujhse khush ho aur kab naraz." Unhon ne poocha kaise? Aap ne farmaya ke jab tum khush hoti ho to kehti ho "Muhammad ke Rabb ki qasam", aur jab naraz hoti ho to kehti ho "Ibrahim ke Rabb ki qasam". Unhon ne kaha: "Ji haan, Allah ki qasam, main sirf aapka naam chhodti hoon."4 Aap ﷺ patni ke itne chhote se ishare ko bhi pehchan lete the. Achha pati bhi aise hi patni ki baat ke saath uska lehja aur uski khamoshi bhi samajhne ki koshish karta hai.

Yeh khayal un dinon mein aur bhi badh jata tha jab patni ko apnepan ki zyada zaroorat hoti hai. Hazrat Aisha batati hain: "Main mahwari ki halat mein peeti, phir bartan Nabi ﷺ ko deti, to aap usi jagah munh rakh kar peete jahan se maine piya tha."5 In dinon mein bhi patni ke saath wahi nazdeeki aur wahi izzat, yeh Nabi ﷺ ka tareeqa tha.

Ghar mein kabhi kabhi aisi baat bhi ho jati hai jo achhi na lage. Dekhiye, Nabi ﷺ ne aise mauke par kya kiya. Ek baar aap apni ek patni ke ghar the ke doosri patni ne khana bheja. Jis patni ka ghar tha, usne khana laane wale ke haath par maara aur bartan gir kar toot gaya. Aap ne bartan ke tukde jama kiye, khana samet kar farmaya: "Tumhari maa ko jalan ho gayi." Phir usi ghar se sahi bartan mangwa kar us patni ko bhijwa diya jiska bartan toota tha.6 Is riwayat mein na daant ka zikr hai, na zillat ka. Nuksan ka insaf bhi ho gaya aur ghar ka sukoon bhi bacha raha.

Isi narmi ka raaz aap ﷺ ne ek chhoti si baat mein bata diya: "Koi momin mard kisi momin aurat se nafrat na kare. Agar uski ek aadat use napasand hai, to doosri aadat pasand aayegi."7 Jab nazar khoobiyon par rehti hai to wahi patni har din ek nemat lagti hai. Allah Ta'ala har pati ko apne ghar walon ke liye sabse achha banne ki taufeeq de. Aameen.

References: 1 Jami at-Tirmidhi 3895, 2 Sahih al-Bukhari 676, 3 Sunan Abi Dawud 2578, 4 Sahih al-Bukhari 5228, 5 Sahih Muslim 300, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 5225, 7 Sahih Muslim 1468b.

Pati ki Zimmedariyan

Nikah ke saath ek mard ki zindagi mein ek nayi zimmedari aati hai. Ab koi hai jo uske bharose apna ghar chhod kar aayi hai. Is zimmedari ki shuruaat ek tohfe se hoti hai. Qur'an kehta hai: "Aur auraton ko unke mahr khushi khushi do."1 Yani mahr koi bojh ya rasm nahi, balke patni ka haq hai, jo pati dil ki khushi se use deta hai. Yeh naye ghar ki pehli achhi shuruaat hai.

Isi tohfe se aage roz ki zimmedari shuru hoti hai, yani ghar ka kharch. Is mein Allah ne mard par uski taqat se zyada bojh nahi dala. Qur'an kehta hai: "Jiske paas zyada hai woh apne hisaab se kharch kare, aur jiski rozi tang ho woh usi mein se kharch kare jo Allah ne use diya hai. Allah kisi par us se zyada bojh nahi dalta jitna usne use diya hai. Allah mushkil ke baad aasani bhi dega."2 Is ayat mein pati ke liye bada sukoon hai. Allah us se wahi chahta hai jo uske bas mein hai, aur tangi ke din hamesha nahi rehte.

Ghar ka Kharch: Ek Ibadat

Kabhi kabhi din bhar ki mehnat ke baad lagta hai ke yeh sab to bas ghar chalane ke liye hai. Lekin Nabi ﷺ ne iski qadr bahut oonchi batayi hai. Aap ne farmaya: "Ek dinar woh hai jo tumne Allah ki raah mein kharch kiya, ek woh jo ghulam ko azad karne mein diya, ek woh jo kisi ghareeb ko sadqe mein diya, aur ek woh jo apne ghar walon par kharch kiya. In sab mein sabse zyada sawab us dinar ka hai jo tumne apne ghar walon par kharch kiya."3

Bas ismein niyat ka khayal rahe. Aap ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jab Musalman sawab ki niyat se apne ghar walon par kharch karta hai, to woh uske liye sadqa hota hai."4 To jab patni apni koi zaroorat batati hai, aur pati use poora karta hai, to woh Allah ke yahan apne liye sadqa jama kar raha hota hai. Yeh soch aa jaye to patni ki zaroorat poori karna ek bojh nahi, balke ek mauqa lagne lagta hai.

Ek sahabi ne Nabi ﷺ se poocha ke patni ka pati par kya haq hai. Aap ne farmaya: "Jab tum khao to use bhi khilao, aur jab tum pehno to use bhi pehnao."5 Is mein kitni pyari baat chhupi hai. Pati jo apne liye pasand karta hai, wahi patni ke liye bhi pasand kare. Aur isi hadith mein aap ne yeh bhi farmaya ke use bura bhala na kaho.5 Yani patni ka haq sirf khane aur kapde ka nahi, achhi baat ka bhi hai. Kabhi kabhi do meethe bol kisi tohfe se zyada keemti hote hain.

Patni ke Dil ka Khayal

Yeh khayal chhoti chhoti baaton mein bhi dikhta hai. Jab sahaba lambe safar se wapas aate, to Nabi ﷺ unhein samjhate ke raat ko seedhe ghar na jayen, balke patni ko sanwarne ka waqt den.6,7 Yani patni ko bhi yeh mauqa mile ke woh khushi se pati ka istiqbal kar sake. Yeh ek chhoti si baat hai, lekin is se pata chalta hai ke Nabi ﷺ patni ke jazbaat ka kitna khayal rakhte the.

Miyan biwi ka jismani rishta bhi isi muhabbat ka hissa hai, aur Islam ne ise bhi sawab ka kaam banaya hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya ke is rishte mein bhi sadqa hai. Sahaba ne poocha ke kya apni khwahish poori karne par bhi sawab milega? Aap ne farmaya: "Batao, agar woh ise haram jagah poora karta to kya use gunah na hota? Isi tarah jab woh ise halal jagah poora karta hai, to use sawab milta hai."8 Jab yeh rishta Allah ki pasand ka hai, to is mein patni ki khushi ka khayal rakhna bhi usi achhai ka hissa hai.

Ghar ko Deen se Jodna

In sab ke saath ek aur khoobsurat zimmedari hai. Qur'an mein Nabi ﷺ se kaha gaya: "Aur apne ghar walon ko namaz ka hukm do aur khud bhi is par jame raho."9 Yahan pehle ghar walon ka zikr hai aur phir yeh ke khud bhi jame raho. Ghar mein deen sabse achhe tareeqe se tab aata hai jab pati khud namaz ka pabandi se khayal rakhe aur muhabbat se ghar walon ko bhi saath le.

Jab pati yeh sab Allah ke liye karta hai, to uski thakan bhi sawab ban jati hai aur uska ghar bhi sukoon ki jagah. Allah Ta'ala har pati ko yeh zimmedari khushi se nibhane ki taufeeq de. Aameen.

References: 1 Qur'an 4:4, 2 Qur'an 65:7, 3 Sahih Muslim 995, 4 Sahih al-Bukhari 5351, 5 Sunan Abi Dawud 2142, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 5244, 7 Sahih al-Bukhari 5246, 8 Sahih Muslim 1006, 9 Qur'an 20:132.

Nek Patni ki Khoobiyan

Har achhi patni chahti hai ke uska ghar sukoon ka ghar ho aur uska pati uske saath khush rahe. Is chahat ki Islam mein bahut qadr hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Yeh duniya faida uthane ki jagah hai, aur duniya ki sabse behtar nemat nek aurat hai."1 Dekhiye, duniya mein kitni cheezen hain jinke peeche log bhagte hain, lekin Nabi ﷺ ne sabse behtar ek nek aurat ko kaha. Yeh us aurat ka martaba hai jo apne ghar ko apni achhai se roshan rakhti hai.

Jannat ka Aasan Raasta

Is martabe tak pahunchne ke liye koi bahut mushkil kaam nahi chahiye. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jab aurat apni paanch waqt ki namaz padhe, Ramzan ke roze rakhe, apni izzat ki hifazat kare aur apne pati ki baat maane, to Jannat ke jis darwaze se chahe andar chali jaye."2 Yeh wahi kaam hain jo ek Musalman aurat apni roz ki zindagi mein karti hai. Allah ne inhi par itna bada inaam rakh diya hai. Aur pati ki baat maanna bhalai ke kaamon mein hai, kyunke Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya hai: "Baat sirf bhalai ke kaamon mein maani jati hai."3

Ek baar kisi ne Nabi ﷺ se poocha ke sabse achhi aurat kaun si hai. Aap ne farmaya: "Woh jo pati ke dekhne par use khush kar de, uske kehne par uski baat maan le, aur apni zaat aur apne maal ke baare mein aisa kuch na kare jo use napasand ho."4 Yahan pehli baat khushi ki hai. Ek muskurahat, ek pyari baat aur thoda sa sanwarna, yeh chhoti cheezen hain, lekin din bhar ke thake hue pati ke liye yahi ghar ka sukoon ban jati hain. Jab patni is niyat se pati ko khush karti hai ke Allah razi ho, to yeh bhi uske liye bhalai ka kaam ban jata hai.

Do Roshan Misaalen

Nek patni ki sabse khoobsurat misaal Hazrat Khadija hain. Jab Nabi ﷺ par pehli wahi aayi to aap ghabraye hue ghar aaye aur unhein sab kuch bataya, aur farmaya ke mujhe apni jaan ka dar hai. Hazrat Khadija ne kaha: "Hargiz nahi! Allah ki qasam, Allah aapko kabhi ruswa nahi karega. Aap rishtedaron ka khayal rakhte hain, ghareebon aur be-sahara logon ki madad karte hain, mehmanon ki khatir karte hain aur mushkil mein padne walon ka saath dete hain."5 Unhon ne us mushkil ghadi mein pati ko unki khoobiyan yaad dilayin aur phir unhein saath lekar ek aise aadmi ke paas gayin jo aasmani kitabon ko jaanta tha. Pati ke mushkil waqt mein uske dil ko sambhalna kisi bhi patni ka bahut bada kaam hai.

Is saath ko Nabi ﷺ ne kabhi nahi bhulaya. Hazrat Aisha batati hain ke aap unke inteqal ke baad bhi aksar unhein yaad karte, aur jab bakri zibah karte to uska gosht Hazrat Khadija ki saheliyon ko bhejte.6 Allah Ta'ala ne bhi unhein Jannat mein ek mahal ki khushkhabri di.7

Doosri misaal Hazrat Umm Salama ki hai. Hudaibiya ke mauqe par Nabi ﷺ ne sahaba se qurbani karne aur sar mundwane ko kaha. Aap ne teen baar farmaya, lekin koi nahi utha. Aap Hazrat Umm Salama ke paas gaye aur unhein yeh baat batayi. Unhon ne mashwara diya ke aap kisi se kuch na kahen, bas bahar ja kar apni qurbani kar len aur apna sar mundwa len. Aap ne aisa hi kiya, aur jab sahaba ne yeh dekha to sab uth kar qurbani karne lage.8 Yani nek patni sirf ghar hi nahi sambhalti, woh apne pati ko achha mashwara bhi deti hai, aur Nabi ﷺ ne khud apni patni ke mashware ko qubool farmaya.

Aakhir mein Qur'an ka yeh wada yaad rakhiye: "Jo bhi nek kaam kare, mard ho ya aurat, aur woh momin ho, to hum use zaroor achhi zindagi denge, aur unhein unke behtareen kaamon ka badla denge."9 Ghar mein ki gayi har mehnat aur har pyar bhari baat Allah ke saamne hai. Allah Ta'ala har patni ko apne ghar ke liye sukoon aur apne pati ke liye sachchi saathi banaye. Aameen.

References: 1 Sahih Muslim 1467, 2 Mishkat al-Masabih 3254, 3 Sahih al-Bukhari 7257, 4 Sunan an-Nasa'i 3231, 5 Sahih al-Bukhari 3, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 3818, 7 Sahih Muslim 2435a, 8 Sahih al-Bukhari 2731, 9 Qur'an 16:97.

Patni ki Zimmedariyan

Nikah ke baad ek aurat ek naye ghar ki roshni ban kar aati hai. Is ghar ko sambhalna uske liye bahut izzat ki baat hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Aurat apne pati ke ghar aur uske bachon ki nigehban hai."1 Nigehban us shakhs ko kehte hain jis par kisi keemti cheez ke maamle mein bharosa kiya jaye. Yani ghar aur bachon ki dekhbhal koi chhota kaam nahi, balke ek amanat hai jo Allah ne patni ke haathon mein di hai.

Bachon par Pyar, Ghar par Dhyan

Is amanat ke do khoobsurat pehlu Nabi ﷺ ne ek hadith mein bataye hain. Aap ne apne zamane ki auraton ki tareef karte hue farmaya: "Quraysh ki nek auratein apne chhote bachon par sabse zyada meherban hoti hain, aur apne pati ke maal ka sabse achha khayal rakhti hain."2 Pehli khoobi hai bachon ke saath pyar aur narmi. Bachpan mein maa ka pyar hi bachon ki sabse badi taleem hota hai. Doosri khoobi hai ghar ke maal ka khayal, yani jo kuch ghar mein aaye use samajhdari se kharch kiya jaye. Pati bahar mehnat karta hai aur patni ghar ko sambhalti hai, aur dono ki koshish se hi ghar aage badhta hai.

Ghar ke maal ka khayal rakhne ka matlab yeh nahi ke dil tang ho jaye. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jab aurat apne pati ke ghar se khushi se kuch de, aur ghar ka nuksan na kare, to use bhi uske pati jaisa sawab milta hai. Use uski achhi niyat ka sawab milta hai."3 Yeh baat un chhoti cheezon ki hai jin ke baare mein patni jaanti hai ke pati ko bura nahi lagega, jaise kisi zarooratmand ko khana de dena.4 Dekhiye, pati kamata hai, patni dil se deti hai, aur Allah dono ko sawab deta hai.

Bharose ka Rishta

Ghar ki nigehbani mein yeh bhi aata hai ke patni pati ki pasand ka khayal rakhe. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya ke aurat "uske ghar mein kisi ko uski ijazat ke baghair na aane de."5 Is ka matlab yeh nahi ke har mehman ke liye alag se poochha jaye. Agar patni ko maloom hai ke pati ko kisi ke aane se koi aitraaz nahi, to is mein koi harj nahi.6 Baat sirf itni hai ke ghar dono ka hai, aur ek doosre ki pasand ke saath chalne se bharosa badhta hai.

Isi tarah Nabi ﷺ ne ek aur baat farmayi: "Aurat apne pati ki maujoodgi mein Ramzan ke ilawa koi roza uski ijazat ke baghair na rakhe."7,8 Yeh hukm Ramzan ya farz roze ka nahi, balke nafli roze ka hai, aur us waqt ka hai jab pati ghar par ho. Agar pati safar par ho to patni nafli roza rakh sakti hai.6 Is ki hikmat yeh hai ke miyan biwi ek doosre ke saath ka khayal rakhen. Aur yeh baat sirf patni ke liye nahi. Ek sahabi din bhar roze rakhte the, to Nabi ﷺ ne unhein bhi samjhaya ke tumhari patni ka bhi tum par haq hai.9 Yani ibadat ka shauq apni jagah, aur ek doosre ka haq apni jagah.

Jab patni yeh sab Allah ke liye karti hai, to uske ghar ke chhote chhote kaam bhi Allah ke yahan bade ban jate hain. Allah Ta'ala har patni ko apne ghar ki yeh amanat khushi se sambhalne ki taufeeq de aur uski mehnat ko qubool farmaye. Aameen.

References: 1 Sahih al-Bukhari 5200, 2 Sahih al-Bukhari 5365, 3 Jami at-Tirmidhi 672, 4 Fath al-Bari 9/297, 5 Sahih al-Bukhari 5195, 6 Fath al-Bari 9/296, 7 Sunan Abi Dawud 2458, 8 Sahih al-Bukhari 5192, 9 Sahih al-Bukhari 5199.

Jin Baaton se Rishte ko Bachana Hai

Jis cheez se hum muhabbat karte hain, uski hifazat bhi karte hain. Miyan biwi ka rishta bhi aisa hi hai, aur iski qadr Shaitan bhi jaanta hai. Nabi ﷺ ne bataya ke Iblees apna takht paani par rakhta hai aur apne lashkar logon ko behkane bhejta hai. Unmein se koi aa kar apna kaam batata hai to woh kehta hai ke tumne kuch nahi kiya. Phir ek aata hai aur kehta hai ke maine pati aur patni ke beech judai daal di. Tab Iblees use apne paas bulata hai aur kehta hai ke tumne bahut achha kiya.1 Is se pata chalta hai ke ek achha rishta kitni badi nemat hai. Isi liye Nabi ﷺ ne pati aur patni dono ko kuch baaton se pehle hi khabardar kar diya, taake unka ghar mehfooz rahe.

Pati ke Liye

Mard ki sabse pehli zimmedari uske ghar walon ka kharch hai, isliye Nabi ﷺ ne is par khaas dhyan dilaya: "Aadmi ke gunahgar hone ke liye yahi kaafi hai ke woh unka khayal na rakhe jinka kharch uske zimme hai."2 Yeh us mard ki baat hai jo de sakta hai aur phir bhi dhyan nahi deta. Jiske haath tang hon, uske liye Allah ne pehle hi aasani rakhi hai.

Doosri baat ghusse ki hai. Thakan aur pareshani mein ghussa aa sakta hai, lekin use patni par nikalna achhe mard ki pehchan nahi. Hazrat Aisha batati hain ke Nabi ﷺ ne kabhi kisi aurat par haath nahi uthaya.3 Aur jab kuch auraton ne apne pati ki shikayat ki ke woh unhein maarte hain, to aap ne farmaya: "Aise mard tum mein achhe log nahi hain."4 Yani jo mard Nabi ﷺ ke tareeqe par chalna chahta hai, uska haath aur uski zuban dono patni ke liye narm hote hain.

Teesri baat waqt ki hai. Kaam, doston aur ibadat ke beech kabhi patni peeche reh jati hai, aur use pata bhi nahi chalta ke woh kitni akeli ho gayi. Nabi ﷺ ne yaad dilaya: "Tumhari patni ka bhi tum par haq hai."5 Thoda sa waqt, thodi si baat cheet, yeh us haq ka bhi hissa hai.

Patni ke Liye

Isi tarah Nabi ﷺ ne auraton ko bhi kuch baaton se khabardar kiya. Ek baar suraj grahan ki namaz ke baad aap ne na-shukri se khabardar karte hue farmaya: "Agar tum unmein se kisi ke saath zindagi bhar achha karo, aur phir woh tumhari taraf se koi napasand baat dekhe, to keh degi: Maine tumse kabhi koi bhalai nahi dekhi."6,7 Yeh aisi baat hai jo naraazgi mein zuban par aa jati hai aur pati ke dil ko lagti hai. Jab naraazgi ke waqt bhi uski achhaiyan yaad rahen, to chhoti si baat badi nahi banti.

Doosri baat miyan biwi ke rishte ki hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jab mard apni patni ko apne bistar par bulaye aur woh na aaye, aur pati raat bhar us se naraz rahe, to subah tak farishte us par laanat bhejte hain."8 Yeh sakht lafz is rishte ki ahmiyat batate hain. Lekin yeh hukm us waqt ka hai jab koi sahih wajah na ho, jaise bimari.9 Agar pati naraz nahi hota, to iska matlab hai ke usne patni ki baat samajh li ya apna haq chhod diya, aur phir yeh baat nahi rehti.10 Aur agar pati ne khud patni par zulm karke doori paida ki ho, to is ka ilzam patni par nahi aata.10 Pati aur patni ek doosre ki khushi aur haalat ko samajh kar chalen, to aisi naubat kam hi aati hai.

Teesri baat talaq ki hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jo aurat kisi sakht wajah ke baghair apne pati se talaq maange, us par Jannat ki khushboo haram hai."11,12 Is mein "sakht wajah ke baghair" ke lafz bahut ahem hain. Yani jis aurat ko sach mein nuksan ya mushkil ho, us par yeh baat lagu nahi hoti. Yeh naseehat us ghadi ke liye hai jab ghusse mein aisi baat munh se nikal jaye jo dil mein nahi hoti.

Dono ke Liye

Kuch baatein dono ke kaam ki hain. Ghar ki baat ghar mein rahe, aur koi bahar wala is rishte ko kharab na karne paye. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jo kisi aurat ko uske pati ke khilaf bhadkaye, woh hum mein se nahi."13 Aur ek doosre ka shukriya ada karna bhi na bhooliye, kyunke aap ﷺ ne farmaya: "Jo logon ka shukriya ada nahi karta, woh Allah ka shukriya bhi ada nahi karta."14 Roz ke chhote kaamon par ek pyara sa shukriya rishte ko taza rakhta hai.

Galti har insan se hoti hai, aur ek doosre ko maaf karne se hi rishta aage badhta hai. Allah Ta'ala har ghar ko Shaitan ke behkawe se bachaye, aur miyan biwi ke beech muhabbat aur rahmat ko badhata rahe. Aameen.

References: 1 Sahih Muslim 2813b, 2 Sunan Abi Dawud 1692, 3 Sahih Muslim 2328a, 4 Sunan Abi Dawud 2146, 5 Sahih al-Bukhari 5199, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 29, 7 Sahih Muslim 907, 8 Sahih al-Bukhari 3237, 9 Riyad as-Salihin 1749, 10 Fath al-Bari 9/294, 11 Sunan Ibn Majah 2055, 12 Sunan Abi Dawud 2226, 13 Sunan Abi Dawud 2175, 14 Sunan Abi Dawud 4811.

Ghar ka Zimmedar, Baat Maanna aur Uski Had

Har ghar ko chalane ke liye koi na koi zimmedar chahiye hota hai, jo faisle ka bojh bhi uthaye aur ghar ki fikr bhi kare. Qur'an ne yeh zimmedari mard par daali hai: "Mard auraton ke zimmedar hain, is wajah se ke Allah ne unmein se kuch ko kuch par badhai di hai, aur is wajah se ke mard apna maal kharch karte hain."1 Is ayat mein "qawwam" ka lafz aaya hai, jiska matlab hai woh jo ghar ka sarbarah ho, uski dekhbhal kare aur uska kharch uthaye.2 Yahi woh darja hai jis ka zikr ek aur ayat mein hai: "Aur auraton ke bhi bhale tareeqe se waise hi haq hain jaise un par zimmedariyan hain, aur mardon ko un par ek darja hasil hai."3 Dekhiye, mard ka darja aur aurat ka haq ek hi ayat mein saath saath aaye hain. Isliye qawwam hona patni ke haq ko khatam nahi karta, balke mard ki zimmedari ko badha deta hai.

Baat Maanna aur Uski Had

Isi ayat mein aage nek auraton ka zikr hai: "To nek auratein farmanbardar hoti hain, aur pati ke peeche Allah ki hifazat se woh hifazat karti hain jiski hifazat ka hukm hai."1 Jab ghar mein ek zimmedar ho, to uski baat ka maan rakhna ghar ko sukoon deta hai. Lekin is baat ki ek saaf had hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Gunah ke kaam mein koi baat nahi maani jati. Baat sirf bhalai ke kaamon mein maani jati hai."4 Yani agar koi pati aisi baat kahe jis se Allah naraz hota ho, to patni par use maanna zaroori nahi.

Har aurat ka apna rishta Allah se hai, aur uske liye uska jawab woh khud degi. Qur'an ne iman walon ke liye Firaun ki biwi ki misaal di hai, jinhon ne dua ki: "Ae mere Rabb, mere liye apne paas Jannat mein ek ghar bana de, aur mujhe Firaun aur uske kaam se bacha le."5 Yeh bahut badi misaal hai, lekin is se ek usool samajh aata hai. Pati ka maan apni jagah, aur Allah ka hukm sabse upar. Isi tarah aurat ki ibadat ka bhi khayal rakha gaya hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Agar tum mein se kisi ki patni masjid jaane ki ijazat maange, to woh use na roke."6 Aur auraton se farmaya: "Jab tum mein se koi masjid aaye, to khushboo na lagaye."7

Jab Baat Bahut Bigad Jaye

Allah kare yeh din kisi ghar mein na aaye, lekin Qur'an ne us mushkil waqt ka bhi raasta bataya hai jab patni rishte se sarkashi par utar aaye: "Aur jin auraton se tumhein sarkashi ka dar ho, unhein samjhao, phir unhein bistar mein alag chhod do, aur unhein maaro. Phir agar woh tumhari baat maan len, to un par koi raasta talash na karo. Beshak Allah bahut buland aur bahut bada hai."1 Is ayat ko Nabi ﷺ ki baaton ke saath samajhna zaroori hai. Pehla kadam samjhana hai, doosra alag sona, aur maarne ka zikr sabse aakhir mein aaya hai.

Yeh ijazat kis wajah se hai, yeh samajhna sabse zaroori hai. Ayat mein iski wajah sarkashi batayi gayi hai, yani patni ka rishte ke khilaf khul kar khada ho jana. Nabi ﷺ ne apne aakhri Hajj ke khutbe mein iski wazahat farmayi. Aap ne khuli hui buri harkat ka zikr kiya, aur yeh ke patni pati ke bistar par kisi aise shakhs ko jagah de jise woh napasand karta ho.8,9 Qur'an ki is ayat aur in hadith mein sirf yahi wajah batayi gayi hai. Isliye ghussa nikalne ke liye, ghar ke kaam ki kami par, kisi baat par ikhtilaf hone par ya aadat ke taur par maarna is ijazat mein shamil nahi.

Is wajah ke hote hue bhi Nabi ﷺ ne iski had bata di. Aap ne farmaya ke aisa maaro jo sakht na ho, jis se na chot lage aur na nishan pade10, aur aap ne chehre par maarne se bhi mana kiya.11 Aur jab patni sarkashi chhod de, to ayat kehti hai ke uske khilaf koi raasta talash na karo. Ayat ka aakhri hissa mard ko yaad dilata hai ke agar usne patni par zulm kiya, to Allah us se bahut bada hai.2

Aur is maamle mein hamare liye sabse badi misaal khud Rasoolullah ﷺ hain. Hazrat Aisha batati hain ke aap ne kabhi kisi aurat par haath nahi uthaya.12 Aap ke ghar mein bhi mushkil din aaye, aur aap ki patniyon se bhi aisi baatein huin jo achhi na lagen13, lekin aap ne kabhi kisi patni par haath nahi uthaya. Aap ne farmaya: "Allah ki bandiyon ko na maaro."14 Aur maarne walon ke baare mein farmaya: "Aise mard tum mein achhe log nahi hain."14 Ijazat apni jagah hai, lekin behtareen mard ka tareeqa Rasoolullah ﷺ ka tareeqa hai. To jis mard ko apne Nabi ﷺ jaisa banna hai, uske liye raasta yahi hai.

Agar kisi aurat ko maar peet ya kisi nuksan ka samna ho, to is ayat ko apna bojh na samjhe. Woh apne ghar ke bade, kisi bharosemand aalim ya madad karne wale logon se fauran baat kare. Allah Ta'ala hamare gharon ko narmi aur insaf se bhar de, aur har pati ko apni zimmedari Nabi ﷺ ke tareeqe par nibhane ki taufeeq de. Aameen.

References: 1 Qur'an 4:34, 2 Tafsir Ibn Kathir 4:34, 3 Qur'an 2:228, 4 Sahih al-Bukhari 7257, 5 Qur'an 66:11, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 5238, 7 Sahih Muslim 443b, 8 Sahih Muslim 1218a, 9 Jami at-Tirmidhi 1163, 10 Sunan Ibn Majah 1851, 11 Sunan Abi Dawud 2142, 12 Sahih Muslim 2328a, 13 Sahih al-Bukhari 5225, 14 Sunan Abi Dawud 2146.

Jab Rishta Mushkil Ho Jaye

Har rishte mein kabhi na kabhi mushkil din aate hain. Do alag insan jab saath rehte hain to kabhi baat bigad bhi jati hai, aur is mein ghabrane ki koi baat nahi. Qur'an ne aise waqt ke liye bhi rehnumai di hai, aur iski shuruaat sabr se hoti hai. Mard se kaha gaya: "Agar woh tumhein napasand hon, to ho sakta hai ke tum ek cheez ko napasand karo aur Allah us mein bahut si bhalai rakh de."1 Jis baat se aaj dil dukha hai, ho sakta hai usi rishte mein Allah ne kal ke liye bahut si khushi rakhi ho. Isliye mushkil waqt mein pehla kadam jaldi ka nahi, thehar kar sochne ka hai.

Aapas mein Sulah

Thehar kar sochne ke baad baat cheet ka raasta hai. Qur'an aurat ki taraf se is baat ko yun bayan karta hai: "Aur agar kisi aurat ko apne pati se bad-suluki ya berukhi ka dar ho, to dono par koi gunah nahi ke aapas mein sulah kar len, aur sulah behtar hai."2 Yani patni bhi apni pareshani keh sakti hai, aur dono mil kar koi raasta nikal sakte hain. Isi ayat mein aage kaha gaya: "Aur agar tum achha bartaav karo aur Allah se daro, to Allah tumhare kaamon se khoob waqif hai."2 Sulah mein kabhi kisi ko thoda jhukna bhi padta hai, aur jo Allah ke liye jhukta hai, uski yeh koshish Allah ke saamne hai.

Kabhi aisa bhi hota hai ke do log akele baat nahi suljha paate. Is ke liye Qur'an ne ek bahut samajhdari ka tareeqa bataya hai: "Aur agar tumhein dono ke beech jhagde ka dar ho, to ek faisla karne wala mard ke ghar walon mein se aur ek aurat ke ghar walon mein se bhejo. Agar yeh dono sulah chahenge to Allah un dono ke beech milap paida kar dega."3 Dono taraf se ek ek samajhdar insan ho, jo dono ki baat sune aur jiska maqsad sulah ho. Aur Allah ka wada hai ke jab niyat sulah ki ho, to woh madad karta hai.

Agar Saath Rehna Mumkin na Rahe

Poori koshish ke baad bhi kabhi saath rehna mumkin nahi rehta. Islam ne aise waqt ke liye bhi izzat ka raasta rakha hai. Qur'an kehta hai: "To ya to bhale tareeqe se rakho, ya achhe tareeqe se chhod do."4 Aur yeh bhi kaha: "Aur unhein nuksan pahunchane ke liye na roko, taake un par zulm karo. Jo aisa karega, usne apne upar hi zulm kiya."5 Aurat ko bhi yeh haq diya gaya hai ke sahih wajah ho to woh alag hone ki darkhwast kare. Hazrat Sabit bin Qais ki patni Nabi ﷺ ke paas aayin aur kaha: "Ae Allah ke Rasool, main Sabit ke akhlaq ya deen mein koi aib nahi nikalti, lekin main Musalman hote hue yeh pasand nahi karti ke unke saath reh kar Islam ke khilaf bartaav kar baithun." Aap ne poocha: "Kya tum unka bagh wapas kar dogi?" Unhon ne kaha: "Ji haan." To aap ne Hazrat Sabit se farmaya: "Apna bagh le lo aur inhein ek talaq de do."6 Dekhiye, us khatoon ne na unki burai ki, na koi tamasha hua. Nabi ﷺ ne uski baat suni aur masla izzat ke saath hal kar diya.

Aise maamlon ke apne masail hain, isliye faisla ghusse mein nahi, balke kisi bharosemand aalim se pooch kar kiya jaye. Aur agar kisi ko maar peet ya kisi nuksan ka samna ho, to woh der na kare aur apne ghar ke bade logon ya madad karne walon se fauran baat kare. Aur jis waqt rishte alag bhi ho rahe hon, us waqt bhi Qur'an yeh kehta hai: "Aur aapas ki bhalai ko na bhoolo."7

Mushkil chahe jitni badi lage, Allah ka yeh wada yaad rahe: "Aur jo Allah se darta hai, Allah uske liye raasta nikal deta hai."8 Allah Ta'ala har ghar ki mushkil aasan kare, aur miyan biwi ko ek doosre ke liye sukoon aur rahmat ka zariya banaye. Aameen.

References: 1 Qur'an 4:19, 2 Qur'an 4:128, 3 Qur'an 4:35, 4 Qur'an 2:229, 5 Qur'an 2:231, 6 Sahih al-Bukhari 5273, 7 Qur'an 2:237, 8 Qur'an 65:2.