Ghar ka Zimmedar, Baat Maanna aur Uski Had

Har ghar ko chalane ke liye koi na koi zimmedar chahiye hota hai, jo faisle ka bojh bhi uthaye aur ghar ki fikr bhi kare. Qur'an ne yeh zimmedari mard par daali hai: "Mard auraton ke zimmedar hain, is wajah se ke Allah ne unmein se kuch ko kuch par badhai di hai, aur is wajah se ke mard apna maal kharch karte hain."¹ Is ayat mein "qawwam" ka lafz aaya hai, jiska matlab hai woh jo ghar ka sarbarah ho, uski dekhbhal kare aur uska kharch uthaye.² Yahi woh darja hai jis ka zikr ek aur ayat mein hai: "Aur auraton ke bhi bhale tareeqe se waise hi haq hain jaise un par zimmedariyan hain, aur mardon ko un par ek darja hasil hai."³ Dekhiye, mard ka darja aur aurat ka haq ek hi ayat mein saath saath aaye hain. Isliye qawwam hona patni ke haq ko khatam nahi karta, balke mard ki zimmedari ko badha deta hai.

Baat Maanna aur Uski Had

Isi ayat mein aage nek auraton ka zikr hai: "To nek auratein farmanbardar hoti hain, aur pati ke peeche Allah ki hifazat se woh hifazat karti hain jiski hifazat ka hukm hai."¹ Jab ghar mein ek zimmedar ho, to uski baat ka maan rakhna ghar ko sukoon deta hai. Lekin is baat ki ek saaf had hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Gunah ke kaam mein koi baat nahi maani jati. Baat sirf bhalai ke kaamon mein maani jati hai."⁴ Yani agar koi pati aisi baat kahe jis se Allah naraz hota ho, to patni par use maanna zaroori nahi.

Har aurat ka apna rishta Allah se hai, aur uske liye uska jawab woh khud degi. Qur'an ne iman walon ke liye Firaun ki biwi ki misaal di hai, jinhon ne dua ki: "Ae mere Rabb, mere liye apne paas Jannat mein ek ghar bana de, aur mujhe Firaun aur uske kaam se bacha le."⁵ Yeh bahut badi misaal hai, lekin is se ek usool samajh aata hai. Pati ka maan apni jagah, aur Allah ka hukm sabse upar. Isi tarah aurat ki ibadat ka bhi khayal rakha gaya hai. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: "Agar tum mein se kisi ki patni masjid jaane ki ijazat maange, to woh use na roke."⁶ Aur auraton se farmaya: "Jab tum mein se koi masjid aaye, to khushboo na lagaye."⁷

Jab Baat Bahut Bigad Jaye

Allah kare yeh din kisi ghar mein na aaye, lekin Qur'an ne us mushkil waqt ka bhi raasta bataya hai jab patni rishte se sarkashi par utar aaye: "Aur jin auraton se tumhein sarkashi ka dar ho, unhein samjhao, phir unhein bistar mein alag chhod do, aur unhein maaro. Phir agar woh tumhari baat maan len, to un par koi raasta talash na karo. Beshak Allah bahut buland aur bahut bada hai."¹ Is ayat ko Nabi ﷺ ki baaton ke saath samajhna zaroori hai. Pehla kadam samjhana hai, doosra alag sona, aur maarne ka zikr sabse aakhir mein aaya hai.

Yeh ijazat kis wajah se hai, yeh samajhna sabse zaroori hai. Ayat mein iski wajah sarkashi batayi gayi hai, yani patni ka rishte ke khilaf khul kar khada ho jana. Nabi ﷺ ne apne aakhri Hajj ke khutbe mein iski wazahat farmayi. Aap ne khuli hui buri harkat ka zikr kiya, aur yeh ke patni pati ke bistar par kisi aise shakhs ko jagah de jise woh napasand karta ho.^8,9 Qur'an ki is ayat aur in hadith mein sirf yahi wajah batayi gayi hai. Isliye ghussa nikalne ke liye, ghar ke kaam ki kami par, kisi baat par ikhtilaf hone par ya aadat ke taur par maarna is ijazat mein shamil nahi.

Is wajah ke hote hue bhi Nabi ﷺ ne iski had bata di. Aap ne farmaya ke aisa maaro jo sakht na ho, jis se na chot lage aur na nishan pade¹⁰, aur aap ne chehre par maarne se bhi mana kiya.¹¹ Aur jab patni sarkashi chhod de, to ayat kehti hai ke uske khilaf koi raasta talash na karo. Ayat ka aakhri hissa mard ko yaad dilata hai ke agar usne patni par zulm kiya, to Allah us se bahut bada hai.²

Aur is maamle mein hamare liye sabse badi misaal khud Rasoolullah ﷺ hain. Hazrat Aisha batati hain ke aap ne kabhi kisi aurat par haath nahi uthaya.¹² Aap ke ghar mein bhi mushkil din aaye, aur aap ki patniyon se bhi aisi baatein huin jo achhi na lagen¹³, lekin aap ne kabhi kisi patni par haath nahi uthaya. Aap ne farmaya: "Allah ki bandiyon ko na maaro."¹⁴ Aur maarne walon ke baare mein farmaya: "Aise mard tum mein achhe log nahi hain."¹⁴ Ijazat apni jagah hai, lekin behtareen mard ka tareeqa Rasoolullah ﷺ ka tareeqa hai. To jis mard ko apne Nabi ﷺ jaisa banna hai, uske liye raasta yahi hai.

Agar kisi aurat ko maar peet ya kisi nuksan ka samna ho, to is ayat ko apna bojh na samjhe. Woh apne ghar ke bade, kisi bharosemand aalim ya madad karne wale logon se fauran baat kare. Allah Ta'ala hamare gharon ko narmi aur insaf se bhar de, aur har pati ko apni zimmedari Nabi ﷺ ke tareeqe par nibhane ki taufeeq de. Aameen.

References: ¹ Qur'an 4:34, ² Tafsir Ibn Kathir 4:34, ³ Qur'an 2:228, ⁴ Sahih al-Bukhari 7257, ⁵ Qur'an 66:11, ⁶ Sahih al-Bukhari 5238, ⁷ Sahih Muslim 443b, ⁸ Sahih Muslim 1218a, ⁹ Jami at-Tirmidhi 1163, ¹⁰ Sunan Ibn Majah 1851, ¹¹ Sunan Abi Dawud 2142, ¹² Sahih Muslim 2328a, ¹³ Sahih al-Bukhari 5225, ¹⁴ Sunan Abi Dawud 2146.